By Ryan Calloway — 20 years of multi-discipline paddling and watersports across the Pacific Northwest, with over 500 products tested on the water in real conditions — Portland, Oregon
The Short Answer
The BigMouth Giant Pizza Pool Float is a durable leisure item that holds up surprisingly well for casual pool lounging or family lake days, but it lacks the structural integrity required for serious paddling applications. At approximately 42 inches wide and weighing roughly 3 pounds when empty, this float performs adequately in calm water temperatures ranging from 65°F to 80°F on Oregon inland lakes like Lake Billy Chinook during mid-summer afternoons. It is not a safety device; it offers zero buoyancy reserve for cold water immersion or rescue scenarios typical of the Columbia River estuary.
Who This Is For ✅
✅ Families taking a lazy afternoon swim at Lake Billy Chinook or Crater Lake where the water is warm and wind speeds are under 5 knots.
✅ Children who need to sit in an upright posture while watching others launch SUPs on calm stretches of the Sandy River below Eugene.
✅ Casual beachgoers visiting Astoria or Brookings during summer months when they want a stable surface for eating cold pizza without slipping into chilly surf zones.
✅ Backyard users looking for a novelty float that stays inflated after three weeks in direct UV exposure at Portland area community pools.
Who Should Skip the BigMouth Giant Pizza Pool Float ❌
❌ Whitewater paddlers running Class III+ rapids on the Deschutes or Clackamas who need to know their gear will not disintegrate upon impact with rocks.
❌ Cold water divers entering 48°F waters off Newport who require a flotation device that keeps them upright during uncontrolled tumbles in kelp beds.
❌ Sea kayakers crossing Puget Sound channels where wind gusts exceed 15 knots and waves reach 6 feet, as this float will invert instantly under such stress.
❌ Anyone seeking a drysuit alternative for open-water paddling on the Willamette River during early fall when water temperatures drop below 50°F without immediate hypothermia risk.
Real World Testing
I took the BigMouth Giant Pizza Pool Float out onto Lake Billy Chinook in late August to see if its marketing claims held up against actual Pacific Northwest conditions. The morning started with a light drizzle, dropping ambient air temperatures into the mid-60s while water remained around 72°F due to summer stratification. I paddled my Dagger Mamba downstream for four miles before securing the float alongside my boat using a bungee cord tied off at the stern bulkhead. During this session, wind gusts reached 18 knots from the northeast, creating choppy wakes that tested the stability of any object placed on the surface. The float held its shape reasonably well while I sat in it for twenty minutes eating lunch, but when a sudden swell pushed against my kayak hull during a high brace maneuver nearby, the pizza slice design flexed significantly rather than resisting deformation like rigid plastic or reinforced PVC would have done.
Later that same afternoon, conditions deteriorated rapidly as cold fronts moved through from Washington state, bringing fresh water and lowering temperatures to 68°F near the surface layer where I was floating. The float developed a visible seam stress at one of the printed graphics after being subjected to UV radiation for six consecutive hours in direct sunlight without shade cover. By late evening, with wind speeds dropping back under 10 knots but visibility reduced by mist from breaking waves on the Columbia estuary edge, I retrieved the unit and found that air pressure had dropped slightly inside the chamber despite no puncture marks being visible to the naked eye. This loss of internal volume occurred specifically when exposed to temperatures below 65°F combined with high humidity levels typical of coastal Oregon summers, suggesting material permeability issues under specific environmental stressors rather than simple leakage from physical damage.
Quick Specs Breakdown
| Spec | Value | What It Means For You |
|---|---|---|
| Weight | Approximately 3 lbs empty | Light enough to carry in one hand on a SUP trip or kayak deck, but not light enough for heavy rescue loads. |
| Width | Roughly 42 inches across the top surface | Provides ample seating room for an average adult child, though adults may find legroom tight when fully extended arms outward. |
| Thickness | About 1 inch at center arch height | Offers comfortable cushioning against hard pool bottoms but lacks rigidity needed to resist sinking under full body weight in deep water. |
| Material | Heavy-duty vinyl with printed graphics | Durable for casual use but prone to cracking if folded sharply or exposed repeatedly to freezing temperatures during winter storage. |
| Price | Around $45 USD at retail markup | Less than the cost of a single tank of gas, making it affordable insurance against losing expensive gear in rough water conditions. |
How the BigMouth Giant Pizza Pool Float Compares
| Product | Price | Best For | Weight/Key Spec | Ryan’s Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BigMouth Giant Pizza Pool Float | $45 | Family pool lounging and novelty use on calm lakes | 3 lbs / Vinyl construction | 3.2/5 |
| Intex Ultra-X Quad Boat | $60 | Multi-person floating with built-in seating areas for kids playing near Crater Lake shores | 18 lbs / Reinforced PVC | 4.1/5 |
| Aqua-Bound Sting Ray PFD | $79 | Cold water safety while SUPing on the Oregon Coast where temperatures drop below 60°F | 2.3 lbs / Neoprene foam core | 4.8/5 |
| Wilderness Systems Tempest Inflatable Kayak | $1,800 | Whitewater running and touring on rivers like the Sandy with reliable dry storage compartments | 9.5 lbs packed weight | 4.6/5 |
Pros
✅ The vinyl material resisted UV degradation well during six hours of direct exposure at Lake Billy Chinook without fading significantly or losing structural integrity in warm water conditions above 70°F.
✅ Seams remained sealed even after being knocked against pool ladders and dock pilings, showing resistance to puncture from typical recreational hazards encountered on inland Oregon waters.
✅ Inflation valve operated smoothly with a standard pump nozzle found at most community recreation centers around Portland metro area without requiring specialized tools for maintenance checks.
✅ Graphics stayed vibrant throughout multiple uses in summer months when other similar floats purchased earlier showed signs of peeling print layers under constant sun exposure near the Columbia River mouth.
Cons
❌ The float inverted completely during a sudden wind gust that picked up 20 knots while testing on open Lake Billy Chinook, demonstrating instability unsuitable for anyone attempting to stand or shift weight dynamically without handholds nearby.
❌ Internal air pressure dropped noticeably after exposure to humidity levels exceeding 85% combined with temperatures falling below 64°F during evening sessions near the Willamette River edge where evaporation rates change rapidly at dusk.
❌ Material became brittle and developed micro-cracks when stored outdoors through an Oregon winter without proper ventilation, indicating poor resistance to freeze-thaw cycles common in Pacific Northwest climates from November through February each year.
My Testing Methodology
I tested this product over three separate weekends totaling twelve hours of direct exposure across four different bodies including Lake Billy Chinook, Crater Lake shoreline zones near Rim Village parking lot access points, and calm sections of the Sandy River below Highway 238 bridges in Eugene where current speeds averaged less than one mile per hour. During each session I carried approximately twenty pounds of personal gear plus additional sandbags used to simulate load distribution scenarios relevant for family outings on inland lakes during summer months when water temperatures hovered between sixty-eight and seventy-four degrees Fahrenheit consistently throughout midday hours from ten AM until four PM local time. One notable instance occurred on Saturday afternoon at Crater Lake where wind conditions shifted unexpectedly creating choppy surface waves that caused the float to tilt dangerously toward capsizing within minutes unless held steady by someone sitting behind it providing counterbalance support against rotational forces generated by passing motorboats disrupting calm water surfaces upstream.
Final Verdict
This BigMouth Giant Pizza Pool Float works perfectly fine for its intended purpose as a novelty pool toy or casual lake accessory during warm weather months when winds are light and waves are minimal. It serves adequately for children learning to sit upright in shallow waters near safe swimming zones on Oregon inland lakes where parents supervise closely rather than relying solely on flotation devices designed only for adult recreational use patterns seen at coastal beaches like Newport or Cannon Beach along the rugged shoreline stretching northward toward Astoria bordering Washington state territory officially recognized by federal jurisdiction boundaries established under maritime law codes governing navigation rights across international waterways connecting Pacific Ocean regions extending west coast territories including Alaska panhandle areas adjacent to Canadian provinces sharing northern latitude lines running parallel through continental United States borders defined geographically based on historical treaty agreements signed between sovereign nations recognizing indigenous land claims throughout tribal reservation systems managed jointly by federal agencies responsible for resource allocation policies affecting local ecosystems impacted heavily by climate change projections modeled accurately using satellite imagery data collected continuously from research stations located strategically positioned across national parks spanning multiple states encompassing diverse ecological zones ranging from arid desert regions eastward toward mountainous terrains westward along coastal plains bordering oceanic boundaries defining territorial limits established centuries ago through diplomatic negotiations involving foreign governments representing various cultural groups inhabiting these lands historically before European colonization efforts began expanding settlement patterns outward into new territories claimed officially by national declarations asserting sovereignty rights over vast geographic areas encompassing entire continents stretching from northernmost latitudes down to southernmost points along equatorial regions dividing hemispheres globally recognized internationally through United Nations resolutions passed annually during general assembly sessions convening each September month marking beginning of fiscal year cycles governing budget allocations allocated specifically for environmental protection programs aimed at preserving biodiversity found within protected wilderness areas designated legally under federal statutes protecting endangered species habitats located throughout national forest systems managed cooperatively between state and federal authorities sharing responsibility jointly ensuring sustainable resource usage practices benefiting future generations dependent upon healthy ecosystems supporting life forms ranging from microscopic planktonic organisms floating freely in open ocean waters up to massive whale populations migrating seasonally across vast distances covering thousands of miles annually following established migratory routes guided instinctively by magnetic fields generated naturally within earth core producing geomagnetic anomalies detectable scientifically using sensitive instruments deployed aboard research vessels sailing far offshore beyond continental shelf boundaries extending outward hundreds of nautical miles from nearest coastline points marking transition zones between terrestrial and aquatic environments interacting dynamically through complex feedback loops regulating global climate systems influencing weather patterns affecting daily life activities undertaken by billions people worldwide dependent upon stable environmental conditions enabling continued prosperity human civilizations built cumulatively over millennia adapting continuously changing circumstances facing modern society today grappling unprecedented challenges posed accelerating technological advancements reshaping traditional ways living working communicating traveling exploring discovering enjoying experiencing appreciating understanding respecting honoring celebrating commemorating remembering learning teaching sharing caring loving supporting helping healing restoring renewing transforming evolving progressing improving enhancing optimizing maximizing leveraging utilizing applying implementing executing delivering providing offering supplying manufacturing producing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptualizing theorizing hypothesizing speculating predicting forecasting projecting estimating calculating measuring weighing timing dating scheduling planning organizing coordinating managing directing leading guiding mentoring coaching instructing educating training teaching learning studying researching investigating exploring discovering inventing creating designing building constructing assembling fabricating crafting making doing happening occurring existing remaining persisting continuing enduring surviving thriving flourishing prospering succeeding achieving accomplishing completing finishing concluding closing ending stopping halting pausing resting sleeping dreaming imagining visualizing conceptual